SoftalkWithPhil

Happy Sunday evening, my lovies.

Let’s talk honestly for a second because whew… I truly think one of the biggest reasons so many people are afraid to fully give their lives to God is fear.

Not even just fear of Hell sometimes.
Fear of commitment.

Yeah I said it.

And I know some people probably just tightened their lips reading that but hear me out first lol.

Do you know how many people “love God” from a distance but are terrified of surrender? Terrified of fully committing? Terrified of letting go of certain lifestyles, habits, people, comforts, mindsets, or versions of themselves?

That is relationship fear.

Whether people want to admit it or not, giving your life to God IS a relationship. It is not just religion. It is not just rules. It is not just avoiding sin so you do not end up in Hell. It is literally entering covenant with God.

And truthfully? A lot of people are not good with relationships in general.

Oop.

No seriously.

I had to learn this about myself too. I used to think I was such a good girlfriend until God started exposing certain things in me internally. And let me clarify before anybody starts imagining chaos lol, I was never a cheater because honestly cheating is whack. If I want to leave, I can leave. Why stay and emotionally destroy somebody in the process? That is beyond selfish.

And if you are a cheater reading this lovingly…Please get your act together because nope!

But as I got older and especially as I got closer to God, I realized being a “good person” and being emotionally mature are not always the same thing.

You can love people and still lack patience.
You can care deeply and still struggle with communication.
You can be loyal and still be emotionally unavailable in certain ways.
You can avoid cheating and still neglect people emotionally.

Woah!! “Shaking the table!”

And one day, I started thinking deeply about my relationship with God through the lens of earthly relationships.

If God treated me the way I sometimes treated Him… would I stay?

That question sat me DOWN.

Because let’s really think about it.

Imagine only speaking to somebody when you need something.
Ignoring them for weeks.
Prioritizing everybody and everything else over them.
Only giving them attention when life is falling apart.
Half listening when they speak.
Constantly doubting their intentions toward you.
Claiming you love them while barely spending time with them.

Would YOU feel loved receiving that kind of relationship?

Exactly.

That realization shifted my perspective on Christianity completely because I stopped viewing God as just this strict authority figure waiting to punish me every five minutes. I started understanding Him relationally.

Now, let me say this because I think this is where many people get stuck:
People know ABOUT God but do not actually KNOW Him.

There is a difference.

Knowing ABOUT somebody is information.
Knowing somebody personally is relationship.

Knowledge without understanding is almost pointless sometimes.

That is why some people grow up around Christianity and still fear God in an unhealthy way because nobody ever taught them His character properly. They learned rules before relationship. Fear before love. Performance before intimacy.

So now every mistake feels like condemnation.
Every failure feels final.
Every struggle feels shameful.

And that is not how God moves.

Yes, God is holy.
Yes, God corrects us.
Yes, conviction is real.
Yes, judgment is real too.

But God is also loving, patient, merciful, compassionate, forgiving, and deeply relational.

The more you spend time with Him, the more you realize He is not asking for robotic perfection. He wants your heart genuinely.

That is why prayer matters so much.
Not because God needs fancy speeches.
Because relationships require communication.

Spend time with Him.
Talk to Him.
Wait on Him.
Listen.
Read His Word.
Be honest with Him.

And please stop treating God like “potential.”

YAP!!

Because if we are being real, alot of people approach God the same way they approach relationships nowadays. Half committed. Curious but guarded. Interested but unwilling to fully surrender.

People say:
“I’ll get serious about God later.”
“I’m not ready yet.”
“I still want to enjoy life.”
“I’m scared I can’t keep up.”

To be honest, I understand that fear because Christianity does require dying to your flesh daily. Some habits HAVE to go. Certain mindsets HAVE to go. Some relationships HAVE to go, but people also make it seem like life outside of God is true freedom when, honestly alot of people in the world are in bondage emotionally, mentally, spiritually, sexually, financially, all kinds of ways.

So let me ask a real question:
How are you afraid to live wholeheartedly for God but gladly live for the devil indirectly?

And yes I said indirectly because alot of people think serving the devil means joining some dark cult somewhere meanwhile every day people willingly choose sin, pride, lust, selfishness, hatred, rebellion, disobedience, greed, idolatry, and separation from God while calling it “living freely.”

Whole time the enemy already has one promised destination.

Hell.

And that is what scares me more than surrendering to God ever could.

Truthfully, some people fear losing worldly pleasure more than they fear eternal separation from God.

Now let me balance this because I do not want anybody reading this and thinking Christianity is just constant restriction and misery because no sah. One thing about God? The closer you get to Him, the more alive you actually become.

People think God wants to take everything enjoyable away when really He wants to protect your soul.

There is a reason parents give children boundaries.
There is a reason traffic laws exist.
There is a reason order matters.

And yes, God loves order too.

But what I love about Jesus is that while He respected God’s law fully, He also exposed when humans used rules in cruel, prideful, or hypocritical ways. The Pharisees were so obsessed with religious performance that they missed the heart of God completely.

Jesus healed on the Sabbath.
He defended people others condemned.
He chose mercy often.
He prioritized what was morally right over empty religious appearances.

That taught me something important:
God’s heart matters deeply.

The more you learn His character, the less Christianity feels like “rules” and the more it feels like relationship, wisdom, protection, growth, intimacy, and transformation.

I think many people are scared because they believe giving their lives to God means becoming miserable, boring, judged constantly, or losing themselves completely.

Meanwhile I can honestly say becoming closer to God made me MORE myself, not less.

Softer.
Wiser.
More self aware.
More emotionally honest.
More peaceful.
Still growing badly lol but growing nonetheless.

And yes, some days are hard.
Some days my flesh fights me.
Some days obedience is difficult.
Some days conviction annoys me a little if we are being real lol.

But I would still choose God every single time.

Because once you truly experience His love personally, fear stops being the foundation.

Relationship becomes the foundation instead.

God’s girl,
Phil