SoftalkWithPhil

TGIF!!!!!

First of all thank You Jesus for carrying us safely to the end of another work week because whew… life really be lifing sometimes lol. The fact that we are alive, breathing, functioning, and still pushing forward is honestly a blessing in itself. So before we start venting a likkle bit in this blog let us give God His thanks first because without Him? HARD NO!

Now let’s jump right into business because can we PLEASE talk about how humbling your twenties are???

TWENTIES?!?!?!

Was I silent or was I silenced because omg.

I am currently 28 years old. Single. Christian girlie. Living in a completely different country. Job searching. Living with family. Trying to rebuild, heal, grow spiritually, stay financially afloat, figure out purpose, survive inflation, keep my mental health together, and still somehow remain soft and feminine through all of this???

Like be so for real right now!

As somebody who has always been a planner, this was absolutely NOT the vision I had for 28-year-old Philisha.

When I was younger I truly imagined my life looking completely different by now. I thought by this age I would have everything together. Stable career. Beautiful apartment. Financial freedom. Husband maybe. Kids maybe. Clear direction. Clear purpose. Clear skin too while we are at it lol.

Instead life said:
“Girl… surprise.”

But honestly? I think that is one of the most humbling things about your twenties. You slowly realize life does not always follow your carefully crafted timeline.

At twenty, I was still in college. Twenty-one? Still there too. So in my mind I was like okay cool, those years do not count because I am still a student. Still figuring life out. Still allowed to make mistakes quietly and pretend I know what I am doing.

Then twenty-two came, and I was interning at the airport with BIG dreams. Whew. I really thought I was one foot into the life I had imagined for myself.

Then boom.

COVID.

A whole pandemic.

And honestly if somebody told me at nineteen that the world would literally shut down for years because of a virus I probably would’ve laughed in their face because what do you mean a PANDEMIC???

Suddenly everybody wearing masks.
People scared to go outside.
Jobs disappearing.
The world feeling eerie.
Everybody doom scrolling online.
TikTok dances taking over the internet while I sat there realizing I was never coordinated enough to participate in the first place lol.

Life just felt strange. Just like that I found myself unemployed during one of the most uncertain periods of our generation.

Then shoutout to IP Courier because eventually I got a job there and in my mind I was like okay cool, stepping stone season. We moving. We progressing. God is doing a thing.

Then life shifted again and I ended up getting another opportunity to work at the airport. Again, one foot in. Again, feeling hopeful.

Honestly? At that point life felt okay.

No marriage yet.
No kids yet.
But stable.
And truthfully stability can make you overlook alot lol.

Then by twenty-five? Whew.

I moved to the United States.

And let me tell you something, moving countries in your twenties will humble you QUICKLY.

Because now suddenly, everything familiar disappears at once.
Your comfort.
Your routines.
Your stability.
Your support systems physically nearby.
Your sense of identity.
Your confidence.

Then here comes adulthood punching me in the face repeatedly:
credit cards,
bills,
job rejection,
identity crisis,
inflation,
stress,
waiting seasons,
starting over.

And omg… the job market???

Please.

Getting through three rounds of interviews just to receive:
“We have decided to move forward with another candidate.”

That email has seen me more times than some family members at this point lol.

And truthfully? Rejection in your twenties can make you feel SO small if you are not careful. Especially when you are trying your best. Especially when you know you are capable. Especially when you know you are smart, hardworking, kind, qualified, and willing.

You start questioning yourself.
“Am I falling behind?”
“Did I mess up my life?”
“Should I have stayed home?”
“What am I even doing?”
“Why does everybody else seem ahead?”

And social media absolutely does not help.

Because now everybody online is either:
engaged,
married,
having babies,
buying houses,
travelling the world,
becoming entrepreneurs,
posting luxury lifestyles,
or suddenly becoming life coaches after surviving one inconvenience.

Meanwhile I am sitting here trying to calculate if groceries are worth it this week because WHY IS EVERYTHING SO EXPENSIVE???

No seriously.

Nobody prepared us for THIS part of adulthood.

Rent high.
Food high.
Gas high.
Housing market high.
Car prices high.
Everything high except people salaries.

Inflation in MY twenties???
Like omg can we catch a break please???

And another thing nobody talks about enough is how weird aging feels now because somehow social media turned life into a competition nobody even signed up for.

Suddenly women in their thirties are looking younger than women in their twenties.
Everybody getting procedures done.
Everybody chasing anti-aging.
Everybody comparing lifestyles.
Everybody obsessed with appearance.

And I’m just here like:
“Life is already drowning me and now we competing in beauty Olympics too???”

No sah.

One thing your twenties will teach you very quickly is that life is not as black and white as you thought when you were younger. You realize adults are also figuring things out in real time. Nobody actually has everything perfectly together. Some people just hide the chaos better than others.

And honestly? That realization comforted me a little.

Because for the longest time I thought everybody else had life figured out except me.

Meanwhile half of us are just praying, budgeting, crying, applying for jobs, healing, overthinking, and trying not to lose our minds lol.

As hard as my twenties have been emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and financially at times, I can still say God has been good to me.

Not because life was easy.
Not because I got everything I wanted.
Not because every prayer was answered immediately.

But because somehow through every disappointment, every delay, every rejection, every identity crisis, every heartbreak, every “what am I doing with my life” moment… He kept me. That matters more than I realized when I was younger.

I think your twenties humble you because they force you to confront reality. Your pride gets checked. Your timelines get checked. Your expectations get checked. Your dependence on yourself gets checked too.

You start realizing you truly cannot control everything, no matter how hard you plan.

“A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps.”

Proverbs 16:9

In simpler terms? You can make plans all day long, but ultimately God has the final say over your direction.

Learning to surrender that control has probably been one of the hardest lessons of my twenties, but maybe that is the beauty of this season, too.

Maybe your twenties are not supposed to make you feel powerful all the time.
Maybe they are supposed to make you dependent on God.
Maybe they are supposed to humble you enough to realize that success, peace, purpose, identity, and joy cannot fully come from worldly achievements alone.
Some people have everything they prayed for and still feel empty.

So yes.
My twenties humbled me badly.

But they also brought me closer to God.
Closer to purpose.
Closer to self-awareness.
Closer to healing.
Closer to understanding that life is not a race.

If I am being honest, that lesson alone was worth more than the version of success I thought I wanted at twenty.

Love, Phil xoxo