SoftalkWithPhil

So I just finished watching The Idea of You — and as a romcom girlie at heart, I loved it. But it got me thinking. Movies, social media, even influencers, they can all create this illusion of what “living your best life” is supposed to look like. And if you’re not careful, you’ll start to measure yourself against it. You can literally throw away a genuine chance at happiness because of what people online think.

Here’s the problem: real life is not like the movies. People don’t wait five years and come back with a grand gesture. Breakups sting. Bills are real. Pressure is heavy. And the “perfect life” social media sells us? It’s not sustainable, and it’s not even real. Social media is just a giant stage for opinions, and you will NEVER (and I mean NEVER) please everyone. And guess what? You’re not responsible for that either.

We only get one life. And if we’re spending it chasing validation from strangers online or living for applause, we’re wasting what God has given us.

Let’s be honest. Social media has trained us to crave validation. How many likes did I get? Did they watch my story? Did they comment back? And here’s the thing: you can never win that game. Because no matter how good you look, how successful you are, or how aesthetic your page is, someone will always have an opinion.

But when you know who you are in Christ, you stop performing. You stop waiting for people to crown you, because God already called you chosen, loved, and set apart.

And yes, I’m talking to myself too. There were times I claimed with my mouth, “God is #1 in my life,” but if I’m honest, my actions didn’t match. I cared too much about what people thought. I wanted to fit in. I wanted approval. And I had to ask myself:

“Why am I worried about the created when my only focus should be the Creator?“

-Philisha Hibbert

Do you know how many people are sitting on their calling because of fear? God told people to preach, sing, write, or step into purpose. Yet, they never move because they’re worried about what others will say. Becoming that girl (or that guy) in Christ means stepping boldly into who God says you are, even if nobody claps for you. Because when you stand before God one day, He’s not going to ask how many likes you got. He’s going to ask if you lived out the assignment He gave you.

Walking with Christ takes true self-reflection. It’s not about being flawless, trendy, or aesthetically pleasing. It’s about remembering what God says about you:
“You are the salt of the earth.” Matthew 5:13
“You are set apart.” 1 Peter 2:9
“You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14

When you root your worth in Him, the pressure to prove yourself fades. You no longer need to chase clout or validation, because you understand this: the One who made the galaxies calls you His. That means you cannot and should not try to be like the world. You’ll never fit in, because you were never meant to.

So, what is godly self-worth? It’s knowing that your value doesn’t come from filters, aesthetics, job titles, or who you’re dating. So let me ask you this: if you stopped caring about opinions, if you truly believed God’s Word about your worth, what would you do differently? Would you sing louder? Preach bolder? Apply for that job? Write that book? Step into that room with your head held high?

Becoming that girl (or guy) in Christ starts here: knowing your worth, walking in your calling, and refusing to shrink back for the sake of people who didn’t die for you.

Reflective Question: Where in your life are you still seeking validation from people instead of resting in who God says you are?